Letter from Bishop Pete Wilcox:
The vocation to ordained ministry in the Church of England is a high calling, which has significant implications for spouses, partners and children. This is why, at ordination, candidates are asked if they will promise ‘to fashion their life and that of their household according to the way of Christ that they may be a pattern and example to Christ’s people’.
There is no single experience of how this plays out in practice, but for most spouses and partners there is inevitably both joy and sorrow. Especially for those living in a church-provided house, there is a particular need to negotiate boundaries both for the minister and for the clergy household.
Clergy and their households are of course not immune from relationship trials. From time to time indeed clergy marriages and civil partnerships come under pressure and strain. The Church and its bishops bear a responsibility to support clergy families, especially on those rare occasions when clergy marriages and civil partnerships are in difficulty, and when they break down.
In such situations, the pastoral care of the clergy spouse or partner is obviously both essential and complicated. The spouse or partner can understandably feel that the institution is biased towards the member of the clergy. Bishops are therefore required to appoint Visitors, who can be available to offer support, both pastorally and practically to those who are spouses and partners of the clergy.
In the Diocese of Sheffield, we are blessed with a team of Bishop’s Visitors. They are currently Kim Priestley and Ranee Townsend. Their hope and mine is that they will largely be redundant!
However, if you need pastoral and practical support on account of difficulties in your marriage or civil partnership, please be assured that help is standing by. You have only to contact Wendy at pa@bishopofsheffield.org.uk. and you quickly find the support you need. We will work with you to link you with the appropriate Visitor.
Bishop Pete
February 2022